The Host Chapter 42: Forced

Ians jaw fell slack. You what?Ill explain in a minute. This isnt pretty to you, scarcely please. Just kiss me.It wont upset you? Melanie wont bother you?Ian I complained. PleaseStill confused, he coiffe his men on my waist and pulled my body against his. His face was so confused, I wondered if this would even work. I precisely required the romance, but maybe he did.He closed his eyes as he leaned toward me, an automatic rifle thing. His lips pressed lightly against mine once, and indeed he pulled backrest to look at me with the same worried expression.Nothing.No, Ian. Re bothy kiss me. Like analogous youre exhausting to view slapped. Do you understand?No. Whats price? Tell me first.I put my munition just some his neck. It felt strange I wasnt at all sure how to do this right. I pushed up on my toes and pulled his head down at the same cartridge holder until I could reach his lips with mine.This wouldnt have worked with a nonher species. Another mind wouldnt have bee n so easily overwhelmed by its body. Other species had their priorities in better order. But Ian was human, and his body responded.I shoved my m step to the foreh against his, gripping his neck tighter with my branchs when his first reaction was to hold me away. Remembering how his mouth had moved with mine before, I attempt to mimic that movement forthwith. His lips opened with mine, and I felt an odd thrill of triumph at my success. I caught his demoralise lip between my teeth and hear a low, wild sound break from his throat in surprise.And then I didnt have to try anymore. One of Ians transfer trapped my face, while the other clamped around the small of my back, holding me so close that it was hard to pull a breath into my constricted chest. I was gasping, but so was he. His breath mingled with mine. I felt the st integrity wall touch my back, press against it. He used it to bind me even closer. in that location was no part of me that wasnt fused to part of him.It was just the two of us, so close that we hardly counted as two.Just us.No one else.Alone.Ian felt it when I gave up. He must have been waiting for this-not as entirely ruled by his body as Id imagined. He eased back as soon as my arms went limp, but kept his face undermentioned to mine, the tip of his nose touching the tip of mine.I dropped my arms, and he took a deep breath. Slowly, he disentangled both his hands and then placed them lightly on my shoulders.Explain, he said.Shes not here, I whispered, unflustered breathing in gasps. I cant describe her. Not even now.Melanie?I cant hear her Ian, how can I go back in to Jamie? Hell know that Im lying How can I tell him that Ive lost his sister now? Ian, hes pale I cant tell him that Ill upset him, lease it harder for him to get well. I -Ians fingers pressed against my lips. Shh, shh. Okay. Lets recollect about this. When was the last time you heard her?Oh, Ian It was right after I saw in the hospital. And she tested to defend them and I screamed at her and I-I do her go away And I havent heard her since. I cant find herShh, he said again. Calmly. Okay. Now, what do you really want? I know you dont want to upset Jamie, but hes going to be fine regardless. So, consider-would it be better, just for you, if -No I cant erase Melanie I cant. That would be wrong That would make me a monster, tooOkay, O.K. Okay. Shh. So we have to find her?I nodded urgently.He took another deep breath. thence you need to really be overwhelmed, dont you?I dont know what you mean.I was appalled I did, though.Kissing Ian was one thing-even a pleasant thing, maybe, if I wasnt so racked with worry-but anything more elaborate Could I? Mel would be furious if I used her body that way. Was that what I had to do to find her? But what about Ian? It was so grossly unfair to him.Ill be right back, Ian promised. Stay here.He pressed me against the wall for furiousness and then ducked back out into the hallway.It was hard to obey. I cute to foll ow him, to see what he was doing and where he was going. We had to talk about this I had to call in it through. But I had no time. Jamie was waiting for me, with questions that I couldnt tell with lies. No, he wasnt waiting for me he was waiting for Melanie. How could I have done this? What if she was really gone?Mel, Mel, Mel, accompany back Melanie, Jamie needs you. Not me-he needs you. Hes sick, Mel. Mel, can you hear that? Jamie is sickI was talking to myself. No one heard.My hands were trembling with fear and stress. I wouldnt be able to wait here much longer. I felt like the anxiety was going to make me swell until I popped.Finally, I heard footsteps. And voices. Ian wasnt alone. Confusion swept through me.Just think of it as an experiment, Ian was saying.Are you crazy? Jared answered. Is this some sick joke?My stomach dropped through the floor.Overwhelmed. Thats what hed meant.Blood burned in my face, hot as Jamies fever. What was Ian doing to me? I wanted to run, to hid e somewhere better than my last hiding place, somewhere I could never, ever be found, no matter how many flashlights they used. But my legs were shaking, and I couldnt move.Ian and Jared came into view in the room where the tunnels met. Ians face was expressionless he had one hand on Jareds shoulder and was guiding him, almost pushing him forward. Jared was staring at Ian with ira and doubt.Through here, Ian encouraged, forcing Jared toward me. I flattened my back against the rock.Jared saw me, saw my mortified expression, and stopped.Wanda, whats this about?I threw Ian one blazing glance of reproach and then try to meet Jareds eyes.I couldnt do it. I looked at his feet instead.I lost Melanie, I whispered.You lost herI nodded miserably.His voice was hard and angry. How?Im not sure. I made her be quiet but she always comes back always before I cant hear her now and JamieShes gone? Muted agony in his voice.I dont know. I cant find her.Deep breath. wherefore does Ian think I have to kiss you?Not kiss me, I said, my voice so faint I could barely hear it myself. Kiss her. Nothing upset her more than when you kissed us before. Nothing pulled her to the surface like that. Maybe No. You dont have to. Ill try to find her myself.I still had my eyes on his feet, so I saw him step toward me.You think, if I kiss her?I couldnt even nod. I tried to swallow. well-known(prenominal) hands brushed my neck, tracing down either side to my shoulders. My heart thudded loud enough that I wondered if he could hear it.I was so embarrassed, forcing him to touch me this way. What if he thought it was a trick-my idea, not Ians?I wondered if Ian was still on that point, watching. How much would this hurt him?One hand continued, as I knew it would, down my arm to my wrist, go away a trail of fire behind it. The other cupped beneath my jaw, as I knew it must, and pulled my face up.His establishment pressed against mine, the skin burning where we were connected, and he whispered in my e ar.Melanie. I know youre at that place. Come back to me.His cheek slowly slid back, and his chin tilted to the side so that his mouth covered mine.He tried to kiss me softly. I could tell that he tried. But his intentions went up in smoke, just like before.There was fire everywhere, because he was everywhere. His hands traced my skin, burning it. His lips tasted every atomic number 49 of my face. The rock wall slammed into my back, but there was no pain. I couldnt feel anything besides the burning.My hands knotted in his hair, pulling him to me as if there were any possible way for us to be closer. My legs wrapped around his waist, the wall giving me the supplement I needed. His tongue twisted with mine, and there was no part of my mind that was not invaded by the crackbrained desire that possessed me.He pulled his mouth free and pressed his lips to my ear again.Melanie Stryder It was so loud in my ear, a growl that was almost a shout. You will not leave me. Dont you love me? s how it Prove it Damn it, Mel Get back here His lips attacked mine again.Ahhh, she groaned weakly in my head.I couldnt think to accost her. I was on fire.The fire burned its way to her, back to the tiny corner where she drooped, nearly heartless.My hands fisted around the fabric of Jareds T-shirt, yanking it up. This was their idea I didnt tell them what to do. His hands burned on the skin of my back.Jared? she whispered. She tried to orient herself, but the mind we shared was so disoriented.I felt the muscles of his stomach under my palms, my hands crushed between us.What? Where Melanie struggled.I broke away from his mouth to breathe, and his lips scorched their way down my throat. I buried my face in his hair, inhaling the scent.Jared Jared NOI let her flow through my arms, knowing this was what I wanted, though I could barely pay attention now. The hands on his stomach turned hard, angry. The fingers clawed at his skin and then shoved him as hard as they could.NO she shouted t hrough my lips.Jared caught her hands, then caught me against the wall before I could fall. I sagged, my body confused by the conflicting directions it was receiving.Mel? MelWhat are you doing?He groaned in relief. I knew you could do it Ah, MelHe kissed her again, kissed the lips that she now controlled, and we could both taste the tears that ran down his face.She fleck him.Jared jumped back from us, and I slid to the floor, landing in a wilted heap.He started laughing. Thats my girl. You still got her, Wanda?Yes, I gasped.What the hell, Wanda? she screeched at me.Where have you been? Do you have any idea what Ive been going through trying to find you?Yeah, I can see that you were really suffering.Oh, Ill suffer, I promised her. I could already feel it coming on. Just like beforeShe was flipping through my thoughts as fast as she could. Jamie?Thats what Ive been trying to tell you. He needs you.Then why arent we with him?Because hes probably a bit young to watch this kind of thing .She searched through some more. Wow, Ian, too. Im refulgent I missed that part.I was so worried. I didnt know what to doWell, cmon. Lets go.Mel? Jared asked.Shes here. Shes furious. She wants to see Jamie.Jared put his arm around me and helped me up. You can be as mad as you want, Mel. Just stick around.How long was I gone?Three days is all.Her voice was suddenly smaller. Where was I?You dont know?I cant remember anything.We shuddered.You okay? Jared asked.Sort of.Was that her before, talking to me-talking out loud?Yes.Can she can you let her do that now?I sighed. I was already exhausted. I can try. I closed my eyes.Can you get past me? I asked her. Can you talk to him?I How? Where?I tried to flatten myself against the inside of my head. Cmon, I murmured. Here.Melanie struggled, but there was no way out.Jareds lips came down on mine, hard. My eyes flew open in shock. His gold-flecked eyes were open, too, half an inch away.She jerked our head back. Cut that out Dont touch herHe smi led, the little creases feathering out around his eyes. Hey, baby.Thats not funny.I tried to breathe again. Shes not laughing.He left his arm around me. Around us. We walked out into the tunnel junction, and there was no one there. No Ian.Im warning you, Mel, Jared said, still smiling widely. Teasing. You better check-out procedure right here. Im not making any guarantees about what I will or wont do to get you back.My stomach fluttered.Tell him Ill throttle him if he touches you like that again. But her threat was a joke, too.Shes threatening your life right now, I told him. But I think shes being facetious.He laughed, giddy with relief. Youre so stern all the time, Wanda.Your jokes arent funny, I muttered. Not to me.Jared laughed again.Ah, Melanie said. You are suffering.Ill try not to let Jamie see.Thank you for bringing me back.I wont erase you, Melanie. Im sorry I cant give you more than that.Thank you.Whats she saying?Were just making up.Why couldnt she talk before, when you were trying to let her?I dont know, Jared. There really isnt enough room for both of us. I cant seem to get myself out of the way completely. Its like not like holding your breath. Like trying to pause your heartbeats. I cant make myself not exist. I dont know how.He didnt answer, and my chest throbbed with pain. How joyful he would be if I could figure out how to erase myselfMelanie wanted to not to contradict me, but to make me feel better she struggled to find words to soften my agony. She couldnt come up with the right ones.But Ian would be devastated. And Jamie. Jeb would miss you. You have so many friends here.Thanks.I was glad that we were back to our room now. I needed to think about something else before I started crying. Now wasnt the time for self-pity. There were more important issues at hand than my heart, breaking yet again.